A couple years ago, your precious child morphed into angry, sullen, cynical creature who can no longer bear to stand in line at the grocery store with you and can text faster than they can talk.
Family vacations that were once so easy can now be wrought with tension. How can you make your much-anticipated vacation a time for the whole family to connect? With a little extra effort, you can travel with teens and not lose your sanity, your dignity, or your savings account.
Plan Together
Let your teens know well in advance when you’re going to head out of town, and where you’re headed. A surprise vacation can step on the toes of a party or school event they’ve been planning for and dreaming about – an offense so great in a teenager's mind, you can be sure everyone's time will be ruined, not just theirs.
Encourage your teen to feel more adult and in control by letting them plan an activity or outing on the trip, like a trip to a museum or theme park. Give them a budget and allot an afternoon for the entire family to do something that interests them. See if you can enlist their tech skills in finding travel deals on Twitter – or see if they’re game to upkeep a Twitter feed of the family’s vacation.
Wherever your travel destination may be, there’s usually a university or college in town or in the area. A tour of a campus, even a school they’re not considering, can inspire your teen to achieve the grades a first-rate school requires.
Keep Up the Pace!
Surliness and boredom go hand in hand. If you have a range of available activities, you can wear down the gloom and sarcasm of even the world-weariest teen. Its hard to be sarcastic when you’re busy swimming with a dolphin or learning how to canoe. Does you teen like history? Do they need a lot of active sports? Keep a busy itinerary ready, but don’t let your schedule run your vacation – be flexible to spontaneous activities or moments where the family wants to simply relax poolside.
It's All About Space
Your visions of sing-a-longs on the road are soon squashed when you see your teen throwing on headphones as soon as they get in the car. That’s perfectly normal behavior for any teen. In fact, you might want to keep a stack of AA batteries or an iPod charger on hand and let them pick out a couple magazines for when they need a little emotional escape hatch during the trip.
If you really want the whole family engaged on a drive, try downloading a podcast you know they’ll enjoy that everyone can listen to together in the car.
Once you get where you’re headed, you’ll want to make sure everyone has enough space in your rental. This is one place you don’t want to cut costs. Giving yourself and your family the privacy and space they need will greatly enhance your vacation. Especially with teens, who are not at an age to share a bed with little sisters or brothers. And if you’re all sharing the same bathroom, you will spend hours in your room waiting for your turn in the shower. Don’t do it! Make sure there’s room enough for everyone to have a little personal space.
Local Cuisine
Adults know a vacation is no time to take a diet seriously. But teens – especially teen athletes and teen girls – can be very picky about eating or feel tremendous pressure to eat only certain foods. Encourage them to try local specialties but don’t force your teen to finish their plate of beignets or that last croissant. See if you can find a rental with access to a gym, and remind them the best way to burn off calories is to walk around sight-seeing!
A Chance to be Super Un-Cool
Remind your teen this is their chance to be super un-cool. They have the rest of the year to be anxious about running into their friends and dressing right. For the next week or so of vacation, its all about Bermuda shorts and relaxing. This is their chance to wear a tri-corner hat in Williamsburg or squeeze into a photo booth with their little sister or brother without worrying about everyone laughing about it the next day in homeroom. Do your part by giving your kids time off – restrain yourself from nagging about grades, upcoming college choices, or that pre-SAT course they need to sign up for. Even if you tour a college campus, keep the experience positive and encouraging. Teens are under as much pressure as adults, they just have less practice dealing with it. Take a moment just to get to know your teen and let them get to know you – creating closeness as a family is a big part of why we go away on vacation. And developing that kind of bond may even make life a little less crazy when you get back!
Use these tips and you and your teen will enjoy your next vacation!
